Hey, its Zyrus from the far off land of the real world. I know I haven't posted a blog in a long time, but something has been really bothering me as of late. First off, I took a long hiatus from blogging due to losing my job and having to spend time rebuilding my freelance business, not exactly an easy task after previously breaking it. No worries though, 5 months later and I'm back and better than ever.

But enough of RL, onto the important stuff: ffxi-life

During my time away, a few things happend to my character. I capped blm to 75, almost finished meriting drg and whm, decided on becoming a blacksmith as a profession, got some crim legs off kirin (still wish these went to a pld buddy of mine who knows how to kite), got a heca harness leaving me at 2/3 of the sky abj for that (need feet), and I have been inducted into my endgame ls to be thier sky captain. A lot happened on top of that, but not as major as all that garbage

For those who don't know, sky captain basically entails me being required to be in sky when online, leading the motley crew, that is Hope From Ash (hfa), to kill as many of the nm's in sky in as little time as possible. But we got it done, and usually got big bounties within a 5 hour span (best record is 6 nm's, almost got to 8 one night but some doofs stole our despot and faust [well, not stole but out claimed us]). Over the time as sky captain, I have grown a certain level of hatred for it; many leaders seldom help out, we normally lack on the jobs needed for certain nm's, I'm usually the only whm there and no support from a brd, cor or rdm to be seen. Unless on a rare occasion i can get a friend up there to be sick of that place with me.

Moving on, last month I was accused by the "limbus captain" that I was stealing triggers from nm's to lead my own sky ls (and btw, out of a 5 hour run in sky, this guy only helped for maybe 30 minutes at most if he wasn't solo'n his bst up in ru'aun gardens). He blabbed it to a leader (for now lets refer to her as the "female whm") who was there with me and said nothing to me of this, but the next day, I had to hand over all the god triggers I was holding. I handed everything over to the leader without question or complaint. I also threw in a few M ghrah chips I was holding for sea. Doing so didn't bother me, just meant more inventory spaces for me lol. So, I find out later that day from a friend of mine, who is also good friends of the linkshell holder, that the other captain made this accusation and is the reason I was told to hand over the triggers. Now this woman who had been the recipient of the accusation was the main reason this was made into such a big deal. This female whm, and someone who has never had a problem with trusting me holding onto the items, can't even trust me with her left shoe if I were standing next to her, chained at the ankle. Not exactly a good situation to be in.

To keep things in perspective, a friend of mine and myself are working on putting together an endgame networking linkshell to help fill events and get gear and items for people who deserve it, those who generally work hard, help others, and are capable leaders (in their own right) are rewarded most over those who are more self interested. As my friend and I continue to work on this "social experiment" we both start to reailze one very important fact. Our mutual linkshell, Hope From Ash, is broken in all aspects. The only thing that wasn't broken was salvage's system since it is independently mantained, separate from the rest of the linkshell's endeavors (though points are awarded for doing the instance with the linkshell). So my friend and I start bringing this to the attention of the linkshell silently, asking if people are willing to help in this social experiment, including other linkshells outside of hfa in the endgame community. The idea is definitely tantilizing, a linkshell run by its members, with elected representatives and a priority and point based system. In essessence, a linkshell who's main concept is, "Everyone owns the linkshell, not just a select few".

Back to hfa, still in shambles and has been for a long time from what my friend and I determine. So, being sky captain and having the level of influence I do, being working with the leadership to attempt at fixing a linkshell that is on the verge of death. My friend and I start getting people talking and we find out we're not the only ones who know this, a few of the leaders and a lot of the regulars in hfa know this well. To say the least, my work with the leadership is a slow one, I am constantly being resisted by this female whm in my attempts to fix this place I have come to know as a home for the last year. To say the least, she is one of the leaders who needs to go. Since her inauguration as a leader, she has gotten increasingly drunk with power, to the point where she singles people out for using "indecent language". So if I slip and say "fuck" over vent or use it as a descript adjective in text, the first thing I hear out of her mouth is "lets try to keep it clean". Peronally, I have a problem with "clean language" simply for the fact it has no place or merit to be upheld among a group of adults, but this is a story for another day. But that is more one of my pet peeves, the real issues is her taking sides of arguements before a word is spoken when she needs to be the neutral party, neglecting to post events asked by members to be placed if it doesn't meet her schedule, rewarding herself with additional points when its uncalled for, appealing for changes to rules to suit her own needs, and much more. Not exactly the leadership material needed for an endgame linkshell.

To make this long story only slightly shorter, she despises me for... well I don't know to be perfectly honest. I'm an open person, I can take criticizm well, and I work hard for others without any seeking of compensation on my own part. Some in the linkshell (leaders included) regard me as one of the most selfless people in the linkshell. Not to brag at all, but more to make the point, "Does this person seem like the kind who would try to screw 100+ people over?"

From my perspective, the answer is a hearty, "NO!" But this would be up to others to decide this about me. Any case, this female whm has it out for me, and I believe will try to screw me over wherever she can (I think she already tried to do that by messing around with the sky attendance one night when I was too tired to take it). In recent history she has gone to the length of telling the linkshell once she was the only leader in the ls at the time I was a "trouble maker." This coming from one of the biggest instigators in the linkshell, the knock on me has no merit to it. But you don't need to know this whm to know that. She normally picks fights with people she doesn't like. Why nothing was done about it, I will never know, but I can only hope she is removed from her seat and maybe is booted from the ls. This kind of behavior should be inexcusible for a member; none the less, a leader. For some reason, nothing is being done, until lately, when we have hard evidence of her being the hateful person she rubs off as.

ok... that ran A LOT longer than I had anticipated.

More to come as it develops

NOTE: with all this drama centered around me and the possible break of this "home" of mine, I have decided to take a hiatus from ffxi. I will still be here, at myffxi.com, lurking, as I always do.

Be easy vana'diel, the world will be good to you as long as you are good to it.

Tags: Endgame Shiva Linkshell Hope From Ash Hfa Drama Respect Responsibility

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