The Cardinal Rule

A word to our players:

"Exploring Vana'diel is a thrilling experience. During your time here, you will be able to talk, join, and adventure with many other individuals in an experience that is unique to online games. That being said, we have no desire to see your real life suffer as a consequence. Dont forget your family, your friends, your school or your work."

I wanted to take the time to share with you some things that have been happening to me recently.  The cardinal rule may not mean a lot to most folks who play ffxi.  If one is single, has no children, perhaps just a student with plenty of free time, they my not know exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I'm sure most people have become sick of seeing it, and click "play" without even using any brain activity.

I admit that over the past several months, I have taken the wisdom of the cardinal rule for granted.  I have a wife, and 2 kids (with one on the way).  It seemed that the longer I played ffxi, the rockier my relationship with my wife was, and the more distant she felt from me.  It got bad enough that my wife no longer plays ffxi because of a resentment she now has due to the amounts of time I spent on the game. We used to both be really excited about playing, and couldn't wait to put our daughter to bed, and do missions and quests together.

They say that kids grow up fast. To be completely honest, seeing my kids grow has felt a bit like a blur.  When I get old, I know that I will regret the time I wasted that I could have spent with my kids.  I dearly hope that my children dont resent me in the future for not being there. There was a popular bit in PFA about 'putting the baby in the drawer'.  Looking back on this, it's a good example of what NOT to do according the cardinal rule.

Another incident that I can remember was when Aht Urgahn was released.  I was working that day, and was up by 5:00am. came home, played with Aht Urgahn, stayed up all night and went to work again for another 12 hour shift. This was the only time I can remember that I really affected my work because of the game. I remember being so tired that I was seeing things that weren't there, and I was not able to really do my job.

Finally, there have been many times that I have gotten invites from friends to hang out, spend time etc. but have denied them my time because I wanted to lvl NIN or whatever.

Anyway, my wife comes up to me last month and says "Steak, I think you're addicted to FFXI, and you may need some help, or you might want to talk to someone about it."

'hmmm' I said. At that moment I realized all of the things that I have neglected and pushed away in the past.  I was a fool. I had failed myself, my family, my work and my friends.

I decided a month ago for my wife, that I would not play ffxi for a month, and the only involvement in it would be that of the Podcast.  It gave me time to really reflect on what is important in life. Time to be close with my wife. Time to get to know my kids. Time to concentrate on my work and my friends.

I am ready to get back into Vana'diel now with the knowledge that I have gained from this experience.  I can only hope that others out there will learn of my experience, and take the chance to step back from the Dunes, and fully understand what the cardinal rule means.

Thank you for your time.

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