Dear [GM] Santa,

You must be surprised that I’m writing to you today, the 26^th of December.  Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter.  I asked for a Black Chocobo, a full Paladin Relic Gear Set, an Optical Hat, a Reverend Mail for my White Mage job and a Rogue Moogle Hat.  All year, I have helped destroy many NMs for various adventurers so they can get their drops without me asking for anything.  I have helped many of my fellow adventurers get their Coffer items before me even when I needed the same Coffers myself.  I’m not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire server (Midgardsormr) that behaved better than me.  I would go on quests and missions that I didn’t even need just to help other adventurers.  There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for the FFXI community… Umm… What balls you have leaving me a fucking Wind Crystal, a lame Bird Whistle and a pair of ugly Goblin Socks that I can’t even wear.  What the fuck were you thinking, you fat prick, that you’ve taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under my Windurstian Christmas Tree.  As if you hadn’t fucked me enough, you gave that little Tarutaru level 3 noob (with no sub job) across the street so many uber rare/ex gear that he can’t even walk into his Moghouse.  Don’t let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my Moghouse chimney next year because by then I’ll be a level 75 Samurai and I’ll fuck you up with some of my most powerful Weapon Skills.  I’ll throw Copper Ores at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you’ll have to walk back home to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn’t get me that fucking chocobo.  FUCK YOU [GM] SANTA.  Next year you’ll find out how bad I can be, you FAT COCKSUCKER.

Sincerely,

Mayaseven

Tags: Joke GM Santa Letter

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