Been 4 months since the last time I wrote here and boy has a lot happened. I guess it wasn't a habit to write so I didn't but nevertheless here I am. In the last 4 months, 3 of them, I spent in an European LS despite being an American, so I'd be done by dinner time and have the evening off.

Things seem well but as time progressed there were people and actions within the Linkshell I couldn't stand. People 100% unworthy of items were getting them over myself or others, because of the simple fact "they haven't had anything in a while" or "favoritism". There are so many instances of both that it makes me sick, and yet I'm here busting my ass and getting shit for it and I just couldn't stand for it. I like to think I'm a tolerate person but I can't stand to be fucked over and expect things to be nice and dandy day after day. No one and I do NO ONE deserves that period. There were so many elitist assholes in endgame, doing HNM was impossible, so many Gilsellers SE wouldn't take care of, etc. I had enough with the server and all these things players would putting up with that just made the game so unpleasant that I needed to switch servers and get away from the BS people and just crap I was putting up with on a daily basis that I knew just changing to another LS would solve.

So I switched to Diabolos server to help out my old Provy friend Aphy, she was kind enough to give me a sac holder considering my endgame experience. In some ways it has paid off and others it has not, let me elaborate. The ways it has paid off is that the LS is a points system, so all the time that I'm spending is allowing me to get rare gear. The other way that it pays off is just the simple fact that I'm leading the event. When I say do this or that people are doing just that and most of the time we're winning as a result. The negative thing is when the leader is gone or other sacholders aren't on, I'm suppose to come with answers on when to do this or that or if we're even having the event at all. Not only that, people constantly asking when is the event, are we doing the event practically every days multiple times a day. Well over the years I've grown very impatient for dumb people. People that if they typed /lsmes would know all their answers and even if they were no on PC have /clock and could get their info, or look at a real clock. As a result I tend to be a royal ass about it and that's the reason why I'm worried. There are people trying to lead over those leading, putting their input in at every little word, and as a result I get frustrated easily. I'm there to lead and when you have people just talking over you it's hard to do that. I've found that when it comes to events I tend to be very strict but it's my way of getting everyone focused and working at the task at hand. People might not like it but tough, of course they'll bitch when things go wrong too as well. Those are things that I'm worried about with my leadership in this linkshell but when I'm putting my full effort in trying to improve myself and the members in it, I think people need to realize that's what I'm just doing and accept it.

On the other hand, there are things I'm grateful for within this LS. I'm just glad I can be with such cool people accomplishing things together as a LS. It's a feeling I've been longing for quite some time. The event time are so much nicer when people are on to attend them, mostly because when I get a job I'll still be able to go. A vast majority are Americans and Canadians which is a 180 from dealing with Europeans so anytime when either of us made a reference it went over each others heads, wasn't much fun. We're finally getting events done, Limbus, Dynamis, Sky, soon sea/salvage and that's the part that I'm most hopeful about. I just hope that we keep attendance up high enough to keep going. There is so much potential with this LS that I want to build upon it and build a great endgame LS. As I told a friend of mine, I've accomplished more in the last month than I did in the last 6, being able to lead most of our events to victory is so relieving. Being able to get things done with your leadership just makes it so worthwhile and so aggravating when it's not like what's happening in Einherjar. Anyways, we'll see what the future holds.

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