I wanted to write about this just because of how cool I think it is. lol So I'm perusing ffxidats.com the other day, checking out the new elf stuff and seeing if there's anything striking. I pick out a few new things to swap-in, and when I'm looking through elf F stuff I see Acina did some denali mods to change the base style and detail colors. Needless to say they look fooking awesome, but there's none for elvM! I leave kind of a passing comment mentioning elf boys for the mod, and like a day later I recieve this really awesome PM from her telling me how much she appreciates the comments and has also made the mod! :D I was seriously shocked and dare I say ..delighted to see it. lol -5 man points for using the word delighted in context, but I'll take it. It was just like the nicest PM, from what was mostly a total stranger too; It totally made my week. lol After that I had to reply to show my appreciation for the PM itself as well as the work, but due to ffxidats weird ass PM system I have to clue if I ever sent it or not. lol


Anyway, check out the dat! http://www.ffxidats.com/page.php?id=4440 ! I love that font she uses too. lol I'm currently rolling with the black model with green deets, but I think I'ma change it to the blue or purple this week for a change of pace. The mod itself has only been downloaded 5 times, though, which is suprising because I think they look awesome. lol I'd hate to have her had make them and end up not geting any real outside appreciation ;3 (*disappeared for about 20 minutes here when my brother randomly decided to teach me how to use a blow-torch. lol) Aside from the dat and the message it was just really nice to have someone say they appreciate you and the things you say. This was all really just a trap to get out some things I've wanted to say for a bit but haven't felt right about.

 I kind of had an e-heart2heart with one of my LJ friends () the other day over some game related woes and just general lonliness. It's really just starting to suck. I have all these people on my friend's list and I don't feel like I can really -talk- with most of them. I actually haven't said a word to a lot of the people there in awhile just from never thinking to say hello or anything and now it's just this weird brand of awkward when I see them. I check that bitch like 20 times a day too. lol I'm just not really sure what to do at this point, I guess. I don't feel like I have a lot of friends that really like or respect me. I guess I mess around too much because I perpetually feel like some stupid elf punch-line. lol

I guess I thought by now I'd have some people that really saw me as a good player with a good head on his shoulders, someone to depend on in a pinch and someone to bring along when you need something special to add to a group. I've done so much leading in the last 6 months that I just thought if I did everything right I'd have at least a good following of people who kept in touch with me just because I was worth having around. I'm not trying to convey arrogance, because that'd certainly be an answer as to why things didn't work out as expected, but because I worked hard to treat everyone I was involved with fairly and respectfully I assumed it'd be something that stood out in their mind. I guess that just means either I didn't do as well as I thought, or people generally just don't give a shit who leads as long as someone does the work for them. I think at the base of everything I'm just disappointed that I'm not really making an impression on the people I meet. I'm sure the overall majority already have the people they want to be around established, but I expect enough from myself that I didn't think it would matter.

I can't even really write well tonight despite being focused on what I want to say. Usually this stuff just flows out and I do so much writing that I have to go back and cut out needless crap I say (such as this), but now I keep pausing to figure out what I'm thinking.

blah. let's see some pictures of Dook to turn around this pewp atmosphere. What weez got hur ..


 - conscious, aware.


 - we're losing steam here,but he seems to be reading a sport cycle magazine. not looking good D:


 - it seems we've all but lost him!


 - confirmed: passed the fook out. lol

Song of the day is One Man Army's "S.O.S." on Rumors and Headlines!

Tags: Acina Lame Dewk Ffxi

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