One day along time ago a little Mithra went to the dunes, she wanted to party. She didn't want to be 13 forever. She found a party, and also Fenrir and this nice Hume. She leveld and as she was about to log off for the night the nice Hume talked to her and they became some kinda friends. The roads they walked didn't cross often, but they kept the contact, and he was the one she could ask if she needed help with anything. The little Mithra met lots of ppl on her way, some of them she really cared about and some of them was soon forgotten, but the nice Hume she met in the dunes that day she never forgot. She saw him now and then around the world, him always with some other girl.. Often when she was going somewhere it was him who did the tele.

When she was somewhere between 44-48 they met in a party again, she on RDM and him on DRK. He looked so good. A few days later they duoed in the altepa desert while looking for more ppl to pt.. they didnt get a pt that day. They drifted apart again..

The little Mithra met a THF and they static, before she knew of it she was already 75 and started doing dynamis and tried to get CoP done. Not always easy to find ppl who want to help out. She asked around her friends if they could help, and the nice Hume offered to come. They didnt get any CoP done that night.. they sat in Whitegate and talked all night instead. They both saw that they really liked each other.

They started to talk more and more and also outside game and started the long way to get to know each other.  Then one day he told her he had moved his char to another server..  She said to him: "But then i wont see you again" Then they both saw how much they meant to each other. He made a new char on the server she was on and they spent as much time together as possible. They started to duo, him on RDM and she on DRK.. each others main jobs.

He told her that he had loved her from the first time he met her in that pt in the dunes, but that he didn't see it till now, She told him that everytime she had seen him online her heart had beaten faster and that she had tried to find things to ask him help her with just to get to be with him..

They both felt the others love for each other and he always kept telling her the sweetest things.. she got spoiled from all his attention, and she was so happy. He was everything she ever dreamt of and he was all hers, he never left her side.

It didnt take long till she understood that he really missed his main char, his DRK that now was level 62 and on anther server. She knew she loved him like she'll never love anyone else, and when she told him he said he knew coz he could feel her love in his heart, just as she felt his love in her heart. She did the only thing she could do. She left all her friends and moved her char to the server he had his main char on, so he could play on his DRK and they still be together. It didnt take long till she was impressed by how he played his job. They continued to duo together even tho she knew she'd never be as good a DRK that he was.

They talked alot all the time, she trusted him and had no reason to not belive in him. They planned to get married in game and talked about their future IRL.

They still spent all the time they both was on together, and sometimes she asked him if there was anything he wanted to do, all he said was that he wanted to be with her. So they continued to duo DRK and RDM, they did some farming and lots of talking.. they had so much to talk about. Sometimes she wondered since he never said anything about stuff he wanted to do, she would have loved to come with him for things he wanted to do, help him or just hang out with his friends. But he always said he didnt wanted to be with anyone else then her and all he wanted to do was to do the things she wanted..  By now she was so high of all his sweet words and all his attention at all times and in every way, she never thought they ever drift apart.

Then she felt he started to be restless, but still he didnt say anything about what he wanted to do, she asked him to look for a pt on his DRK so he could level it more, he did even tho he said it was almost hopeless to get a pt on DRK. Twice when he was pting he asked if she wanted to come to help cure or something and of course she did. She would bring him the moon if he asked. She also PL'ed him a few times just so he could get exp on his DRK.

He started talking about moveing in with her IRL and said that their ingame wedding would be practice for the real wedding.. they never seemed to get enough of each other.

Not long before the ingame wedding she started to feel something was wrong, and she asked him. But he said everything was good and told her about his love for her, how she completed him and was everything he ever wanted. She felt the same way about him, but still felt something was wrong. She couldnt do or say anything as long as he didnt want to talk about it, she knew him so she hoped he come out with it one day. And she also kept asking if it was something he wanted to do but it never was, she said she didnt like to be the one makeing all the plans on what to do all the time, but he again said he was happy as long as they where together.

The day for their wedding came and they had all day to do whatever they wanted, she asked if he wanted to duo RDM and DRK.. he turned to her and told her he was tired of her always wanting to duo, he had lots of things he wanted to do ingame. Things he never got to do since all she wanted was to duo. She got all numb,, she didnt know how many times she asked him what he wanted to do and he never said anything about what he wanted except that he wanted to be with her. After a lill while they made up and they got married, she was so happy! He told her that she was his wife even IRL no matter what ppl say or what happend and that he loved her forever. She told him that he was everything to her, and that she would always love him no matter what happend.

She still had the feeling that something was wrong, but he never said anything. She tried to find some things to do on her own to give him time and space to do his own things. She made a few friends on her own and did some farming with them. Then he got mad at her, and she couldnt understand why. He accused her of compareing him with others and said it made him feel worthless and useless. It had never crossed her mind to compare him with anyone, to her he was above everyone. And then he started to yell at her if she said something he already knew, they argued a lot and she felt it like he pushed her away. That made her hold on to him and try to pull him closer to her again.. spoiled as she was from all his attention and sweet words.

And then it was event time in Vana'Diel again and she asked if he wanted to do the event with her, since it had been a while since they did anything together. She was hopeing they could do the event and get to talk things over.. but he said no and told her that since they had different home nations they couldnt do it together. Instead he did it with another girl (who was not from his home nation) She got mad and sad and ended up with just logging out of the game. The next day he told her that he loved her and that she'd forever would be his wifein his heart and mind, no matter what. He just needed some space and time alone.. then he went to the girl he had done the event with and spent all his time with her, almost refuseing to talk to his "wife". Something obviously happend and the Hume moved back to the server he started out on and he changed his name. The little Mithra was all alone with noone to talk to or anything.. she was so used to it only beeing him and her and she didnt have any friends on that server, just his friends and she didnt want to be with them. She spent a lot of time crying and also alot of thinking, and still after what he did to her she knew she loved him and she also felt in her heart that he still loved her. She didnt understand anything, she couldnt see if or what she did that was so wrong. All she saw was the hurting of his lies to her..

She left the game and was thinking it would be forever, there was nothing left for her but pain and sorrow, but she had 1 friend on the server she left and after a lill while he managed to talk her into playing again. She moved back to her old server, changed her name and built a wall around herself, pretending she didnt care about anything or anyone. She was alone all the time when her 1 friend wasnt on, she had deleted everyone on her friendslist and tried to be busy all the time.. and it was lots of time, she played 18-20 hours every day, and she kept herself busy so she wouldnt have time to think and it helped her build the wall she put up higher. When her friend was on they could sit and talk for hours.. she cried many tears in his MH. He told her about how painful love sometimes can be, when u long for someone and dont want anything then to be with that one and u cant be with them. That made her think that sometimes when she had been mad at the nice Hume or when she got upset by something he said or did, it most likely was the pain of loveing him to much and not beeing able to be there with him and hold him. But it was too late now, even tho she could dream about their ways crossing again at night. Her dreams at night was what made her not sleep much, she had a wall to protect.

She took up leveing her DRK again and found an endgame LS she joined, everything to stay busy. In 2 months she got her DRK from 35-75. She also tried to make some new friends, but it wasnt easy. There where a few but they pulled back  coz she was so cold and if they just hinted about beeing more then friends she pushed them away.

Suddenly 1 day the nice Hume sent her a tell, he said that he understood if she didnt wanted to talk to him, but he was really sorry for hurting her so much and he alwasy had wanted them to stay friends. They talked now and then, but something happend and he started to yell at her.. just like he had done before.. she pulled away.

Then an old friend showed up and they started to talk and do some things together. He said he heard from someone about what happend to the nice Hume and her and also that the Hume had found a new girlfriend. That night the little Mithra cried all night. What was wrong with her? She could swear that she still felt in her heart that the Hume cared for her, and she had also resently seen him write that he loved her for all the world to see. Her old friend tried to be there for her and he talked to her, took her along to do stuff and tried to make her smile and laugh again, but he couldnt pull down her wall. Slowly she started to get back on her feets, she belived he really was a good friend and she cared for him. But then he changed, forgot about obvious things and never wanted to do anything anymore. She felt he wanted so much more then she could possible give, she felt he just used her for his own pleasure. She got mad as hell. She ran away, and made a seacom that kinda told all the world they where assholes. Someone she barely had talked to before invited her to a party and tried to make her smile and dance.

Then out of the blue the Hume sent her a tell and asked what was up with the seacom, she told him that someone was beeing an asshole. Then he said that noone could be as big an asshole then he had been to her.

They talked for a lill and ended up doing some skill-ups at the Boyahda Tree, they talked and he made her smile and laugh. He even flirted with her and the wall she spent so much time building fell in seconds. She knew that even all his hurting words back then, she still loved him, she still trusted him and belived in him. She asked why he wanted them to still be friends and he said it was because he trusted her and she knew him so well. They tried to spend some time together later also, but something always came between. Then one day they had time to do some stuff together, and she tried to talk to him as a friend she had known for a while.. well.. she had knew him very well one time.. she tried to flirt with him, but he didnt like that. She asked why, since he had flirted with her the last time they did something alone together. He said he didnt want all the hurt and pain from last time back. She became confused and didnt know how to behave towards him, seeing it was him who walked away from her back then, leaveing her all alone with the hurt and the pain. And then he started to push her away again. She tried to talk to him and let him know she was there for him, but all the time he was busy with his friends and telling her he had so much to do with all his LS's. All she could see when she saw him on was that he was doing something with some of his friends. She tried to talk to him again, she was confused and had trouble seeing how they could be friends when he never asked if she wanted to do anything and he could barely talk to her. Again he said he was so busy with his LS's and that he always treated all his friends the same way as he did with her. And again and again he pushed her away. Ok she said to herself she have had enough. She started to pick on him and told him she didnt belive his words... when she logged off she cried, coz she didnt want to hurt him. She loved him and belived him and trusted him. To her he had always been 1 of a kind. It was just that she wasnt prepared for him comming and pull down her wall just with a few words and then tell her he couldnt continue the line he started..

After a few days of silence he sends her a tell, saying that  it seemd like she was underestimating how much she really mean to him.s

She tells him back that it might have to do with all his talk about hurt, pain and opening old scares...

A few days passes before she see him again and she is confused and worreid. She ask how he is, he says he have been better.  Then she obvioulsy say something he doestn like. He get mad at her and she gets mad at him. She yells at him with tears running down her cheeks. She don't want to yell at him or hurt him, she doesnt even know why she does it. Maybe its because they both know how much thy mean to each other, and the fact that they are not able to talk about it with each other. She doesn't know and now she probably never know.

She loved him to much, she could do anything for him, he pushed her away, and when he comes around and tries to let her know he still cares, she pushes him away and hurts him. She know there is no excuse and that her saying she is sorry won't help.

Now they just go different ways again, but she will always wait and hope that one day they will meet again and maybe... just maybe they will be able to talk then.

   ~The little Mithra goes back into her house after a long walk around the world, she starts to clean up, blinded by her tears, sad and mad at herself for beeing so stupid...

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